I’ve decided that today would be a great day to talk about why this series came to be.
Here’s the scoop: I have to admit that I’m not normal. That’s right : I’m perfectly imperfect and instead of trying to hide it, I’m celebrating the stuffing out of it.
If you’ve never read my stuff before then I’m about to reveal a factoid. I have struggled with anxiety for many years. In fact, since I was 9 years old. My anxiety started and stemmed from a narcissistic step-mother whose mental illness spotified perfectionism.
As I’ve written before, not only do I refuse to place blame. I seek to operate in grace, by taking radical and complete responsibility for myself. These days, I successfully protect myself against unwelcome or unjust intrusions in my life and I’m so happy I feel like The Skittles Rainbow.
In utter honesty, I can say that every single moment of my life, as I know it, has been affected by anxiety. I have worked my butt off to not only conquer, but to triumph over this foe. It has been an epic battle and one that will never end, but I am at a place of strength these days.
- I am able to get what I want in life.
- I am powerfully working to achieve unconditional acceptance of not only of myself, but others and the world around me.
- I can see the cost and benefits of change.
- I am getting better at balancing opposites and can embrace change radically.
Walking the middle path is a place I’m becoming more and more comfortable with every single day. If I was a partridge, I’d be in a Pear tree.
Not all, but more than I’d like to admit of the past 35 years of holidays have been especially hard for me.
I have had some great moments with friends and family and I will share those stories with you as this series progresses, but no matter how hard I tried, during my childhood, I ALWAYS got sick at some point during ‘The Most Wonderful Time of The Year’ and my step-mother ALWAYS told me I was ruining her Christmas and then I’d be banished to the basement or to a snow bank.
Even today, I feel sick, just thinking about all those times I got sick. Thinking about barf, looking at barf, makes me want to barf. Even as I type, I feel like I’m going to gag. Excuse me for a sec…
Sorry about the pause, I needed a minute there. You probably needed the interlude as much as me, am I right?
My childhood was a poignant time for me that has haunted me and challenged me. There has always been a darkness about it all that has clung to me like a shroud.
There is a bright shining light that has kept me hopeful all these years. His name is William Fram. He is my father and my hero. Although, he passed away 8 years ago (just before Christmas), he was and continues, for me, to embody the Christmas Spirit. I am planning on dedicating an entire feature to him. I miss him all the time but especially during the Holidays.
As I was putting my preventative plan in place to deal with anxiety flare ups, my thoughts of course went to all the times my Dad showed up for me. Simple things he did all through my life to include me. I wanted my behavior to match his over the holidays.
One thing that I’ve learned is that I can’t think myself out of anxiety, nor can I talk myself out of it (although, trust me ! I’ve tried). One thing I can do is WALK (by taking action) my way out of it. I’ve looked for ways to participate, be socially involved, stay connected and engaged.
Alas, that’s why you have my DECEMBER, I LOVE YOU series.
- Simple thoughts and pictures.
- Lists ( I LOVE LISTS!! OH, SO MUCH).
- Music (my fave song “Ain’t No Chimneys in the Projects” by Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings).
- Activities – ssssh, I am going to JINGLE someone.
- Books ( most involve mistletoe).
- Decor HINT: Pink isn’t just for little girls.
- Food – this post may or may not involve, wait for it…Fruitcake.
- Wine – it is some people’s ONLY plan for staying sane – I’ve got Memes to prove it.
- CHEESE (yes, it has its own category). Have you ever heard of the 5 Cheeses of Christmas?…
- Gardening (WHAT!!!!)
- Fun – awesome sauce traditions
- Family – you will wanna come for Christmas next year! I live with Christmas Badasses.
- and last but not least, DREAMS & WISHES
Whewf, there you have it. I think this is the longest post I’ve written. Thanks for hanging out with me today. I invite you to join me all December long as we share simple and cozy together.
MUAH! from me to you.